1. 你知道哪些關於程序猿的段子和笑話
一位程序猿說,我的擇偶條件很簡單,只要是程序媛就可以了。
2. 那些黑程序員的段子最好的你還記得嗎
女神:你能讓這個論壇的人都吵起來,我今晚就跟你走。程序猿:PHP語言是最好的語言!論壇炸鍋了,各種吵架。女神:服了你了,我們走吧,你想幹啥都行。程序猿:今天不行,我一定要說服他們,PHP語言是最好的語言。
3. 程序員幽默:12個段子測試你是不是程序員
如果對編程感興趣的話是很喜歡的程序員這個職業的,這個職業需要你不斷的突破發現探索。
4. 你見過關於程序員的最好的段子是什麼
剛才等紅綠燈的時候,天開始下雨了。
這時候旁邊的程序員們首先開口說:「下雨了。」
大概過了五秒,其他人:對哦,有點下雨了。
5. 關於程序員的幾個搞笑段子,別生氣,你不一定
1、程序猿問科比:「你為什麼這么成功? 」
科比:「你知道洛杉磯凌晨四點是什麼樣子嗎? 」
程序猿:「知道,一般那個時候我還在寫代碼,怎麼了?」
科比:「額…….」
2、我是一個苦b的程序員,今晚加班到快通宵了,困得快睜不開眼了,女上司很關心,問我要不要吃宵夜。我沒好氣地說,宵夜就算了,能讓我睡一覺就行了。女上司紅著臉說了句討厭啊,然後坐在我身邊不動,好像距離我很近,搞得我很緊張,難道她發現我的程序出了bug?
ps:單身狗那麼多年是有原因的。
6. 你有哪些只有程序員才能懂的段子
程序員在電腦上忙碌,後面的老闆在旁邊指指點點,於是程序員翻開了桌面的書本,並且拿出了一把刀。老闆從口袋裡拿出了一把槍,晃了晃,一切又正常進行。
7. 有哪些關於程序員的好玩的段子
聽說程序員都很有錢,最近有點困難,就去找做程序員的朋友借錢。那個:程序員X,最近手頭緊借1000塊,救濟救濟。程序員X:1000啊,要不是借個整數好了,給你1024。
科比:你知道凌晨四點的洛杉磯嗎?程序員:知道啊,那個時候我剛下班。
小明:女神,你為什麼喜歡那個程序員Y,難道你就喜歡宅男嗎?女神:著你就不懂了,程序員,錢多、話少、死得早。 (程序員:你丫才死的早)
(實際中的程序員樣子↑)
程序員Z:做著行好累啊!老子不想幹了,但是不知道後面要做什麼。啊~Y,你知道怎麼換行嗎?程序員Y:enter就可以了。程序員Z:……
問程序員V,「你的地址是什麼?」
「172.168.15.xx」
「不是,我是問你的不讓本地地址」
「172.0.0.1」
「我這個地址只的是物理上的物理地址」
「29:01:38:62:31:58」
「……」
兄弟!你被躺下啊,你寫的代碼還有兩個error!
「嘿!程序員B,你剛才的那個程序好像出現了bug」程序員B:「我允許你把話重新組織一下。」「額,好像運行的時候不是很流暢。」「bug在哪裡說吧!」
8. 有哪些關於程序員的笑話和段子,分享一下
聽說程序員都很有錢,最近有點困難,就去找做程序員的朋友借錢。那個:程序員X,最近手頭緊借1000塊,救濟救濟。程序員X:1000啊,要不是借個整數好了,給你1024。
科比:你知道凌晨四點的洛杉磯嗎?程序員:知道啊,那個時候我剛下班。
小明:女神,你為什麼喜歡那個程序員Y,難道你就喜歡宅男嗎?女神:著你就不懂了,程序員,錢多、話少、死得早(程序員:你丫才死的早)
9. it工作笑話 小品
請採納我的問題
1、一個女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的訂婚戒指,但竟沒有一個同學注意到,令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐著談天的時候,她突然站起來大聲說:「哎呀,這里真熱呀,我看我還是把戒指脫下來吧。」2、女主人把女傭叫到面前問她:「你是否懷孕了?」「是啊!」女傭回道。「虧你還說得出口,你還沒有結婚,難道不覺得害羞嗎?」女主人再次訓。「我為什麼要害羞,女主人你自己不也懷孕了嗎?」「可是我懷的是我丈夫的!」女主人生氣地反駁。「我也是啊!」女傭高興地附和。3、一個人騎摩托車喜歡反穿衣服,就是把口子在後面扣上,可以擋風。一天他酒後駕駛, 翻了,一頭栽在路旁。警察趕到:警察甲:好嚴重的車禍。警察乙:是啊,腦袋都撞到後面去了。警察甲:嗯,還有呼吸,我們幫他把頭轉回來吧。警察乙:好.....一、二使勁,轉回來了。警察甲:嗯,沒有呼吸了.......4、在一條七拐八拐的鄉村公路上,因為時常發生車禍,所以常常有一些鬼故事發生,有一天晚上,有一個計程車司機看見路邊有一個長發披肩,身著白衣的女人向他招手,因為這個司機沒有見過鬼,所以大膽的停下來讓她上車了,這一路上,司機雖然不信有鬼,心裡也毛毛的,所以時常從後視鏡看後面的女人,開著開著,突然司機發現那個女人不見了!司機嚇了一大跳,趕緊踩了一個剎車!只見那個女人滿臉是血,表情猙獰。司機嚇的牙直打顫。突然那女人開口了:「你會不會開車啊!我低頭系個鞋帶你突然一剎車我把鼻子都撞破了……」5、一個病人去看病,醫生檢查了他,皺著眉頭說:「您病得太嚴重了,恐怕不會活多久了。」 病人:「求您告訴我我還能活多久?」 醫生:「十……」 病人著急地問:「十什麼?十年??十個月???十天?????」 醫生:「十,九,八,七,六,五……」6、老師:「你能說一些18世紀科學家共同特點嗎?」學生:「能,他們都死了。」7、犀糞蜣和蚊子談戀愛,蜣問蚊子是做什麼工作的,蚊子說:「護士,打針的。」蜣一拍大腿:「緣分吶,我是中葯局搓葯丸的…」8、一非洲人住在某一賓館。夜半,起火,不明原因。非洲人見狀顧不了那麼許多,光著身子就跑出去了。消防員見狀驚呼:「我的媽呀!都燒的糊了吧區的了還能跑那麼快!」9、一個人想出國考察,但必須得到老總批准。於是他向老總請示,老總給了他一張字條,上面寫著:「Go ahead」。 那人想:「Go ahead=前進,老總是批准了。」於是他開始打點行李。 一個同事見到了他問:「你在做什啊??」他說:「我准備出國考察,老總批准了,給我寫了『Go ahead』。」 同事一見條就樂了:「咱們老總根本就沒批准!!咱老總的英語水平你還不知道,他這是在說去個頭!」10、牧師對買了他馬和馬車的農夫說:「這匹馬只能聽懂教會的語言,叫"感謝上帝"它就跑;叫"贊美上帝"它才停下。」農夫將信將疑,他試著喊了一聲感謝上帝,那匹馬立刻飛奔起來,越跑越快。一隻跑到懸崖邊上驚恐的農夫才想起讓它停下來的口令「贊美上帝」。果然,馬停下來了。死裡逃生的農夫長出一口氣:「感謝上帝………」
我打了很久,請採納
1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"
I played for a long time, please